


Detachable Penis

by CurrentlyObsessed



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gen, read it and weep motherfuckers, this fic is literally what i sounds like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 09:00:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurrentlyObsessed/pseuds/CurrentlyObsessed
Summary: Dan struggles to get a hand on his penis.





	Detachable Penis

**Author's Note:**

> Clearly and overly inspired by the song 'Detachable Penis' by King Missile. I suggest listening to the song to get the true mood of this fic.

I woke up and my penis was missing.

It's a hard thing not to notice, I'm pretty used to it being there. My head was still throbbing from the music and drinking from the night before and I was feeling a little more than incomplete.

This happens sometimes, waking up hungover and missing my member. That's what happens when you have a detachable penis. Maybe it's a little bit weird, but it comes in handy. I can take it off when I think it might get me into trouble and it makes a good party trick.

Which I guess is why the first leak I took this morning, I had to do sitting down. I searched frantically around the apartment for it, even calling it's name- Little D... For Dan, of course- but I had no luck.

Eventually, I found myself phoning the host of last night's party. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet because, for whatever reason, I leave it there sometimes but apparently not this time. The guy told me he'd give me a call if it popped up.

Admittedly, I was starting to feel a little depressed by this point. I don't particularly like being without my penis for too long, it makes me feel like less of a man. In defeat, I pulled on a tight pair of skinny jeans, which didn't feel quite so tight anymore, and went into town for breakfast.

I chewed my eggs and sipped my coffee while sitting in the diner feeling like a shell of my old self. This was a problem I was going to have to tackle head on, so I threw a couple of bills onto the table and started out to the Flea Market on Second Avenue towards St. Marks Place where all those people sell old junk on the street.

It only took a few minutes before I saw my penis laying on a blanket next to an old man.

I tried to explain my situation to him, but he wasn't in the mood and I ended up having to buy it off of him. He wanted twenty-two bucks but I managed to talk him down to seventeen.

Once I got home, I washed it off and finally put my penis back on. I felt happy. Complete.

Phil's suggested to me once or twice that I get it permanently attached, but I dunno- Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I kind of like having a detachable penis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lil end note here-
> 
> I'm totally up for taking some song fic requests! Whatever genera or song you want- obviously they don't have to be ridiculous like this

**Author's Note:**

> Lil end note here-
> 
> I'm totally up for taking some fic requests! Obviously, they don't have to all be ridiculous like this, just send me a song or whateverand yeah :)


End file.
